The Nondual Psychology of Denial

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Denial - between the everything and the nothing, my life flows.

Denial: we're trained to ignore it - ignoring the ignored parts of our pain. We let sleeping dogs lie, turn a blind eye, believe that out of sight is out of mind. Denial can be about something very bad, but also something very good. Imagine for example, that you're married, One day you meet another human being who shatters your heart into a million pieces. What to do? Would denial of this form-fracturing love be helpful, at least for a while to get your bearings?

There is a lot of confusion about the psychology of denial, as the movement is seen as either "bad" or "good" with little wisdom between the two. Our psychological take on denial literally mirrors its polarizing energy.

Denial, it has been found, can be sometimes life-saving. Science has suggested that when dealing with a life-threatening disease, for example, people that actively employ denial to focus on only positive outcomes can actually live longer and even go into remission. So if humanity itself is currently facing a collectively fatal autoimmune disorder in which we are literally killing the planet that sustains us, could denial be a "good thing"?

Of course not, not without a vision of our deeper potential - the potential expressed through our True Nature. And we all also know the catastrophic impact of denial, of feelings, emotions, suffering, and of conflict. It smothers the more potent vitality of deeper reality, dissociating us from our basic aliveness, obligating us into social pretense and self-deception, undermining our sensory confidence in being alive.

Yet again, let's look at behavioral therapy - the most widely accepted form of therapy on the market today. Doesn't this "fake it until you make it" approach help? Meaning, behave as if the suffering is not there and maybe it will go away? When we treat addiction with behavioral therapy, are we not literally employing denial to quash those craving, distract from that compulsive urge to self-destruct, and blot out the thoughts of the desired substance?

And what about positive psychology? Isn't the whole idea of investing in positive thoughts and not negative ones a fancy enactment of denial that inevitably must birth some pretty dark shadows dressed up in "positive" affirmations? (Imagine the words "I love you" spoken with a tone that transmits (I'm suppose to love you but please f**k off out of my face).

Guilt is in the air. ♪♪♪

There are two main ways that Nondual Therapy can bring wisdom to the natural psychology of denial - showing how to navigate it in such a way that it works for the wellbeing of the whole. This involves unwinding two commonly held beliefs: that the human being in a one-dimensional "thing" made up of actions; and that feelings are less important than thoughts. 

1. We are not functional machines, we are multidimensional beings.

You, me, everyone, is a field of experience. Part of this experience is the mind. When we are too lost in mind control, we become controlled by beliefs, that dictate what we are. Get the loop?

This is why we get stuck between positive and negative denial. There is no polarity. We can freely be in denial, at the same time that we invest our consciously fully in the power of love, wellbeing and happiness. Meaning, it's fine to "deny" the world of the flesh (as mystics have for millenia) if it is to bring ourselves fully to the more subtle dimensions of ourselves. 

But when we are in that dimension of true nature, there is a natural compassion, or care toward the suffering around and within us. So now, it is more than appropriate to unfold the suffering caught in denial, and to allow it to heal. 

It's a simple principle of freedom in which the mechanism of denial - born from the mechanics of mental perception - should work for us and not against us. This becomes possible when we realize the substance of our deeper nature - the dimension of nondual quality.

2. Denial is an energy with physiological form.

Denial is not just a thought, but also a feeling, with a whole energetic substance of condensed emotional energy. 

We learn there's nothing there.  After a while it forms a literal sensory block in our nerve system, forming areas of unconditional stress, robbed of the agency of connection with the  denied "something" disguised a "nothing." This 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 cramps our movement, mutes our voice, yet fuels our rage. As a field of blocked sensation, it feels sense-less. Yet packed within there is real pain, that some time ago, someone was unable to contain.

We believe it has the power to negate what is anyway being felt. But instead, it walls us into fragmented pieces of personality - waiting, always waiting, for some freak-chance release, as if our being here were a rehearsal for something better and more.

Beneath it all, there is a rage of truth, at injustice, hypocrisy, lies, belligerence, obstinacy, the pain of a being being blindsided yet very much alive.

Where there is denial, there will be reduced feeling. Move your hand through the space wound two inches from  your torso. Are there areas where there is more density and reduced sensation. Stay there a while. What emotion or sensation are you getting (remember, "nothing" can show up as uneasiness or frustration), Move your hand around the space around the blocked area. Are there any areas of turbulence, stress, or electrical activity? How would it be if you were to channel a loving sense of welcome through your hands, almost as if your hand are inviting the energy to expand? What deeper feelings come forward? A healing is happening. Let the body relax all around it.